Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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