goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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