HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
