I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
