I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
