Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
