Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
