I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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