i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
