Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
