This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
