yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
