OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
