it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
