Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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