I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
