Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
