My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
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Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
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Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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