it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
