Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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