So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
