I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
