so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
