so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
