I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
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she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
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