.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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