I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize