i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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