we have pet lesbian snakes
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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