no, he came in my armpit
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
