Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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