the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize