so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
