The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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