I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
