I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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