Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
