Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
