you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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