what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
God, I missed his penis.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize