You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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