I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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