would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
