Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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