I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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