I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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