it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize