Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
