He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
