If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
