margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yo dont text me then not text me
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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