Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
