no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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