we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
