Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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