pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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