and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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