Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize