I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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