omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
