He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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