Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
