I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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