Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
